Questions, Answers

"Julie, does God speak to you?" Claire broke the silence to ask me on Sunday afternoon. She had a stomachache, and was resting on my bed, looking at books, while I sat in my chair and journaled. "Yes, He does," I told her, delighted her interest, "but not in the same way that I hear you speaking to me." Her questions of late have been deeper than, "Why is it snowing?" or "When is my birthday?" She has also asked this week, "Julie, is there real magic?" and "Can God do anything?"

Heather and I have had some thought-provoking conversations recently as well, about praying with both boldness and humility. In my small group when we gather in Pedro's living room, our prayers are a jumble of Portuguese, German, and English, but there is a fervency that often moves me to tears - personal, passionate, and specific prayers are raised for one another. I listened to a sermon this afternoon that Eric preached at CPC last Sunday -- he preached from John 14:12-14: "You may ask for anything in my name, and I will do it."

Eric pointed out that looking at the whole of Scripture, it is obvious that not every prayer is answered just as we expect it should be (Jesus in the garden, Paul's thorn in the flesh). Yet, he maintained that the cry of a heart that is open before God is always answered. The answer may be completely unrecognizable to us as being a response to our petition, but perhaps in the end, we will see that our original request has been answered after all.

I am praying about what I should do next. I told Claire, "Sometimes God speaks to me very clearly. Like when I heard that your family needed someone to stay with them, God spoke to me and I knew He wanted me to come here." Sometimes the answer does not come knocking on my door, but I must seek it out. I trust that as much as I want to be where God wants me, so much more does He want me to be in His perfect way.