Lilah's voice, whining and pouting: "No, I don't want to stay in bed!" Footsteps. Claire appeared, a shadow in my doorway.
"Julie, Lilah won't stay in bed. Can we get up now and play in our room?" I got out of bed and sent them both back into their beds for another half hour, and snuggled back under my covers too. At 6:30 I got up and dressed and then told the girls they could get up and play in their room. Then I went down to the kitchen to make a cup of tea; while I was boiling the water I heard a commotion down the hall. It was Lilah again, screaming, "No! No! No!" I didn't hurry; I knew Claire was tormenting Lilah and Lilah was responding like a self-absorbed victim and I didn't know what I was going to say to them. I beseeched the Lord for wisdom, trusted that He would put the words in my mouth, and headed towards the ugly noise.
When I entered the room, they both became still and silent. I took a hand in each of mine and asked the girls what was going on. No answer. Finally, Lilah said that Claire was bothering her, and Claire reluctantly confessed that she had been trying to catch Lilah. We have had so many discussions about appropriate ways to interact with each other: Think about what might make the other one happy. If Lilah makes a request, listen to her. If you are unhappy with what Claire is doing, ask her to stop in a sweet voice and then you can come to Julie if you need to. I knew they knew that what they had been doing was wrong. So I punished both of them, and hugged them in their pink pajamas, and prayed for God's ways to sink into their hearts.
Then I was hoping to have a few minutes in my room to read the Word and journal. Lilah wanted to stay with me, and I told her she could but she would have to be quiet. She skipped into my room ahead of me and knocked over a water bottle I had set on the floor by my chair. Claire wanted Lilah to stay with her and wanted to know why I wouldn't make Lilah stay in the bedroom with Claire. Lilah wanted a doll; Claire didn't want her to have it. Lilah read a book on my footstool, full of questions and comments. Claire came in and sat beside me, watching me write in my journal with intense fascination. I told her I was writing to God, kind of like praying. "Does everyone ask God to forgive them?" she asked me.
"No," I answered.
"Why not?"
"Well, some people don't think they have done anything wrong. Or they don't want to have to obey God; instead they want to do what they want to do."
"But some people ask God to forgive them."
"Yes," I told her.
"Like you!"
"Well, yes," I answered again.
"Do you always ask God to forgive you?" Claire asked me.
"Well, yes."
"Why?"
"Because I want to please God; because I like it when everything is good between us."
The girls played, chattered, and finally (after many reminders from me that they were free to be in my room or in theirs, but if they chose my room they needed to be quiet) scampered across the hall to their room. Then there was a shriek. Claire announced the nature of the dismal tragedy: "Uh-oh! Julie! There's an animal in our room!" Lilah whimpered and shrieked again.
"It's okay," I called out. "It's just an insect."
Then I heard them talking to it, claiming it as their little baby, and giggling about how it tickled them when it walked on their hands. Claire came in with the large beetle on her hand and proudly displayed it to me, then confessed, "I don't know what to do with it." So I led her to the window and we put it outside.
"When are we eating breakfast? Can we get dressed now?" Claire asked.
I still hadn't read from the Bible, so I told her I would be ready in about five minutes. She decided to get dressed on her own. But as I was closing my journal and reaching for the Bible, my elbow knocked my mug of tea, sloshing the last bit all over my hip, chair, and the floor. I wiped up, changed my clothes, and told Claire, who had asked again, that I would be ready to help them finish dressing and feed them breakfast very soon. I asked her to be quiet in the hall since Cole was still sleeping, but when I went into the bathroom to wash my face and fix my hair (while quoting a Psalm, since I still hadn't read the Bible), I heard him chattering in his crib. So, I finished getting ready in a hurry (without getting very far on the Psalm), got Cole up, and finally went to the girls. They were soon dressed, and we went to the kitchen to memorize Psalms and eat toast with honey.
Cole still hadn't finished eating, but the girls were done so I took them to the bathroom to fix their hair. Just as we were finishing up, I heard noises in the kitchen; it sounded like the high chair scooting across the floor. I ran down the hall and saw Cole, down from his high chair, coming out the kitchen door in his bib and sticky hands, holding his empty bowl. I could hardly blame him for feeling the need to take his care into his own hands, as he had been rather abandoned. I washed him and took off his bib and loaded the last dishes in the dishwasher.
Then I went to the playroom to find the girls. "Time to go potty and then put your shoes on!" I told the them.
"Oh, we were just starting to play something really fun!" Claire told me. "Why is it always time to go when we start to play something?" I didn't mention that they hadn't exactly taken advantage of their opportunities for free play that morning.
We got to Kita right at 9:00 after a rainy drive in the morning traffic. I remembered on the way that Lilah had sport (gym) today and I was supposed to send gym clothes with her; oh well. Cole and I came home and started some laundry and headed out again into the drizzle to pick up a few things at the grocery store. It wasn't pouring down rain, so it was nice to be outside. At home, I put away the groceries and made some pumpkin chocolate chip cookies for my friend Emily who is coming over tonight and for Heather's homecoming tomorrow. The pumpkin chocolate chip cookies I've had before were soft and chewy . . . these ones spread to lacy wafers in the oven, and when I tried to slide them off the cookie sheet, the edges shattered and sent crumbs skittering across the counter, but they were so soft that they folded in half when I lifted them. (Warning: There are hazards in the wonderful world of Internet baking.) I baked the rest of the dough in a pan and hoped they would be more successful as bars. Cole didn't want to eat his lunch, but his verdict on the cookies was "nummy, nummy" and "noo noo noo" (more; said in a desperate tone of voice with eyebrows puckered into a beseeching peak and fingertips coming together over and over in the sign for "more").
Matthew West sang to my as I worked in the kitchen this morning
I'm tired and empty, this life is relentlessThere was part of me that related to the song. Yes, it's good to have quiet moments sometimes. But this is the life He has called me to -- God is speaking to me in the tea spills and discipline sessions and conversations about repentance. May I have ears to hear.
It weakens my knees and breaks down my defenses
It's wearing me down and I'm desperate to hear from you.
Stop the world I wanna get out
I need to escape away from this crowd
Just to hear you speak to me.
Here's a pumpkin cookie recipe I have used with success before - http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/great-pumpkin-cookies/Detail.aspx
ReplyDeleteI replace all or some of the nuts and raisins with chocolate chips. And this makes me think, I should get some pumpkin out of the freezer and we should bake cookies this afternoon. We are having a bit of a November Monday ourselves!
Funny, your recipe is almost identical to the one I used. Maybe I have to make a confession . . . I did make one change to the recipe. I used all white sugar instead of white and brown. (Brown sugar isn't a German thing.) So, perhaps that was the problem. But the pumpkin bars did turn out great!
ReplyDeleteJulie -
ReplyDeleteWhat a delight to read. Reminds me of MOST days of mine for the past 10 years. I can identify with having the best intentions to read the Bible, and even setting aside early morning time to do it, and having multiple spills and sticky fingers, breaking up fights and bugs and children in the room before 7:00 a.m. and even the cookies NOT TURNING OUT!!! You have such a gift with putting a sweet twist on it!!! I find myself wishing those daily prayers for wisdom and patience you wish would be answered IMMEDIATELY, and not in 20 years when I don't need that wisdom or patience quite so acutely any more. But there are so many blessings in these beautiful distractions (called children) that God uses to shape us into...maybe not the person I thought I wanted to be, but into sort of HIS model instead. I think He must laugh at our frustration about the failed Bible readings, when we're reading his will (100 interruptions) right in front of us! : ) Thanks for sharing!
Anne-Marie
PS Thanks for the tips on the boiled eggs!