Goodnight, Peter & Lucy!

Tonight I sat on Peter's bed (a neatly made-up mattress on the floor in the corner of the bedroom he shares with Lucy) and read him his bedtime story. It wasn't till he snuggled up against me, eager to hear about Duffy and his little red train, that I realized this was goodbye. Then I could hardly read. I tried to think about the story, and how I would be back in two months for a visit, and many other happy or unrelated thoughts, but the tears were eager.

Lucy came toddling down the hall, happy after her nurse, and joined us for the nightly Bible reading. With both of them snuggled against me, the weeping was worse. The story from the Bible was about Jesus' crucifixion, which did not help me to cheer up. Peter wanted mama to tuck him in, so she came down to their bedroom as I was laying Lucy down. The tears in her eyes and her big hug for me made me melt into a puddle; I think this was the first that Peter even noticed I was crying. He pulled back from our group hug to look at us two girls. "Oh, Aunt Jewy have owie on her thumb!" he said, remembering an actual cut on my thumb and totally not getting it.

Sometimes I don't get it either, exactly why the emotions surge up so willfully at certain moments. (It's not goodbye forever! And God's leading was so clear on this Germany trip, and I'm actually very excited for what is ahead.) But I know I'm grateful to have a heart that is connected to the people around me, even if it stings a little sometimes.